


Sway

by koto



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Apologies, Exes, Getting Back Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Matchmaking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25119649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koto/pseuds/koto
Summary: “Are you sure you want to do this here?” Minho asks.“This is our place. We’ve had countless serious talks here. That bartender was here when I threw a drink on you,” Jisung says, motioning behind him. “He was also kind enough not to kick us out when we were making out on the pool table. I want to do it here.” Minho smiles a little at those memories, recalling the drunken argument they’d had over some tv show, and the drunken celebration they’d had when Jisung finally graduated with his music degree.Jisung and Minho had a picturesque relationship until Minho up and left without a word. A year later he's back, and he's willing to do anything to earn his place back in Jisung's heart.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 28
Kudos: 259
Collections: MINSUNG BINGO: Round One





	Sway

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, I'm back with my 2nd entry for MinSung bingo! This covers: exes, bar/club scenes, hurt/comfort, fake/pretend relationships, and matchmaking. 
> 
> I'm not sure how well this reads, because I've literally never read an exes fic in my life (they make me sad). I literally cried two times writing it. But they're still MinSung, so I think it still ended up pretty sweet. 
> 
> I HIGHLY RECOMMEND putting on the song Sway by Tove Styrke when you get to the final scene, because it's how I imagine their relationship beginning. If you like it watch the mv too, in my opinion it has some really lovely lgbt representation.
> 
> Find me on twitter at /0hrhj0 and cc at /Koto16

When Minho steps through the doors of his old stomping grounds, he’s hit with a heavy wave of nostalgia. It’s a shabby dive bar, practically historic at this point, all weathered wood and neon signs advertising different brands of beer and liquor. It’s not the cleanest, not the classiest, but it houses some of his best memories. It’s home, and when you’re constantly traveling for a year straight, it feels good to be home.

He looks around to see what’s changed, but on the surface there doesn’t seem to be much. The jukebox has upgraded into something modernized advertising the ability to control the queue from your phone. The single stall bathrooms that used to say “Men’s” and “Women’s” on them have had their labels scraped off and replaced with the word “Bathroom” in sprawling handwriting. The bartop is the same dark wood, the pool table is just as overused as it had been a year ago, the cement floor is still covered in spilled beer to be mopped up later. Looking around, Minho sees a couple regulars; even the patrons haven’t changed much. It’s a Wednesday evening, so they’re pretty much the only ones there. A few of them call his name as he walks through the bar, and he smiles and shakes their hands briefly, but doesn’t pause to chat. He’s only got his eye on one person, sitting at the bar sipping a half empty whiskey sour, watching a subtitled version of American Ninja Warrior on the bar tv.

“Jisung,” Minho says when he gets close enough. The man turns around faster than he can put his drink down, resulting in it splashing a bit when it lands on the bartop. He reaches for some napkins and lays them on the mess, then looks back to Minho. His face is hard and pale, and he looks like he’s seeing a ghost, but Minho can’t really blame him.

“Minho. You’re back?” Jisung asks, keeping his tone impressively even.

“I’m back. I haven’t seen you in a while,” Minho responds. He offers a soft smile up to Jisung, trying to get on his good side.

“Yeah well, that’s what happens when you walk out on a three year relationship and disappear. The last time I saw you must have been.. Let’s see, I guess the last time I saw you was when you walked out of our apartment with two giant suitcases in tow,” Jisung says, smiling back at Minho. It’s fake, obviously so, but whether he’s using it to cover anger or hurt Minho can’t quite tell.

“That… yeah, that would have been it,” Minho says, dropping his polite smile and letting his face fall into a grimace. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think this through. I’m just gonna leave you alone.” Jisung reaches for his drink and takes a big sip, then places it back on the table.

“No, sorry, that was rude. Stay for a while. You can buy the next round. You owe me that much,” he says, patting the barstool behind him. Minho takes a seat, sending a small wave to the bartender, who motions he’ll be there soon. “Plus, if you leave I’m not sure I’ll ever find you again. Last I checked my number was blocked.”

“I’m sorry. I deserve that. It’s not blocked anymore, hasn’t been for about four months,” Minho says. The bartender walks over to them and Minho looks over at Jisung. His drink is already nearly gone, but Minho can’t really blame him. He’d be a wreck if he were on the other side of this situation. “Two whiskey sours, please. I’ll start a tab,” Minho says, handing his credit card over. This might be a long night.

“So are you back for good?” Jisung asks, looking more into his glass than at Minho.

“Yeah, I’m back for good now. I told them no more long tours, two weeks max,” he replies, giving the bartender a polite smile when he places the drinks in front of them and taking a big sip of his. It’s strong. That’s probably for the best.

“Well, good for you. Where are you staying?” Jisung asks.

“Chan’s letting me sleep on his sofa until I can find a place,” Minho says, looking a little guilty. Jisung turns to look at him for the first time in a while, seemingly confused.

“He didn’t tell me that,” Jisung says. “He didn’t even tell me you were coming back. Some partner.”

“I asked him not to,” Minho says. “I’ve only been back for a day. He said you guys have been busy lately. Congratulations, by the way, I knew you three would make it. Nobody writes better songs than you. I didn’t want to distract from that.”

“That’s an awfully bold assumption, you know. Thinking your presence is going to throw me off. You just walk back in here assuming you’re still going to hold enough power over me to get me all flustered?” Jisung accuses, eyes furrowing in anger. “You didn’t even ask what I wanted to drink.”

“Do you not order whiskey sours anymore?” Minho asks.

“No,” Jisung says, pouting a little. “I still order whiskey sours. But it’s the sentiment.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. How are you? Anything new aside from your producing deal? What have I missed?” Minho asks. Jisung is right. Minho disappeared to go on a year long tour with his dance company without a word. A tour where he was mind numbingly busy every single day. He didn’t have time to mourn what he’d left, not completely. He had let himself get so caught up in the whirlwind of the opportunity, he just left Jisung in the dust.

“Honestly, Minho? Not that much. Work-wise, yeah, I’ve been busy and it’s been good. But personally? I just got back to being myself not that long ago. You left me,” Jisung says. The sadness in his eyes is showing, and it’s everything Minho can do to ignore his instinct to wrap Jisung in a hug and make it better. He can’t make it better. He’s the one who caused it. “Did you seriously think you could just leave and tell me to forget about you and it wouldn’t absolutely destroy me?”

“I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention, I hope you know that. I want to explain myself, if you’ll let me,” Minho says. His stomach feels like a fist is closing around it, and his chest feels heavy. Jisung looks devastated. This isn’t what he wanted.

“Not tonight,” Jisung says sadly. “I can’t handle it right now. I’ll let you another time, ok?”

“Does that mean you’ll see me again sometime?” Minho asks, feeling an inkling of hope rise up in his system.

“Fine. But I don’t want your reasoning right now,” Jisung says, stirring his drink around and taking a sip. “It’s in the past now. You’re back. Welcome back. Did you at least have fun?” His voice is monotonous and grim, but he seems to want a genuine answer. For the first time in a long time, Minho can't get a good read on Jisung.

“Do you really want to know?” Minho asks.

“Of course I want to know. You left me alone to suffer, it better at least have been worth it,” Jisung says, laughing dryly.

“Well… I wouldn’t use the words ‘worth it’. But it was amazing. I saw so much, and I got to dance every day. It was absolutely exhausting, sometimes I forgot where I even was, but it was an incredible experience. I learned so much, Ji, I saw so many different cities and cultures,” Minho says, not realizing until after he’s done that he’d let an old nickname slip out. Jisung looks conflicted at the slip-up, like he isn’t sure if he should be mad or not.

“Good,” he says firmly, relaxing his face but still not quite smiling.

“Good?” Minho repeats.

“Good. I’m glad you had a good time. I’m glad you saw the world,” Jisung says, turning to face Minho. “You fucked up, like, big time. But I still care about you. I still wanted you to do well.”

“I missed you, though,” Minho says, knowing full well it’s unfair. “A lot. I thought about you all the time.” Jisung turns back to the bar, taking a big swig of his second drink. He rests his hand on his chin, elbow on the bartop, staring at a speck of dust somewhere in the distance.

“I can’t have that conversation right now,” Jisung says. “There’s too much happening. I’ve barely processed that you’re even here right now.”

“Take whatever time you need. If we could just be on speaking terms, I’d be happy for now,” Minho replies. It's true. Minho didn't come back into town expecting immediate forgiveness; what he pulled was far too cruel for that. What he wanted was a chance, and Jisung somehow seemed to be willing to offer one. He was always the kinder one in the relationship.

“Fine. Meet me back here Friday night and we can talk, ok? Just give me two days,” Jisung says, swallowing down the rest of his drink.

“Of course. I’ll be here,” Minho says, watching as Jisung begins to gather his things. “Are you leaving?” Minho asks, a bit concerned about the idea of Jisung walking around when he’s been drinking so quickly.

“Yeah, I’m just gonna go home for now. Don’t worry, I’m calling for a ride,” he responds, anticipating what Minho is going to say before he even has a chance. Three years of dating will do that, he supposes.

“Well, it was really good to see you. I’ll see you Friday?” Minho asks, watching as Jisung starts to walk towards the door. He turns around and looks at Minho for a while before answering, staring into his soul.

“Yeah. Friday.”

* * *

Friday comes slowly to Minho. He doesn’t want to text Jisung (or he wants to, but he’s pretty sure Jisung wouldn’t want that), so his only way of making sure he hasn’t royally fucked up is to bother Chan about it. Chan and Jisung work together, along with their friend Changbin, so if Jisung is off or seems bothered he would know.

“Did he seem ok?” Minho asks for the tenth time that day on Thursday night over dinner.

“He got his work done just fine, I didn’t notice an issue,” Chan says, biting into the pizza they ordered.

“But like, personally, was he ok?” Minho presses.

“Minho, what are you asking? Was he crying all day? Of course not. He’s a grown man and he was at work, he knows how to control himself,” Chan says in a stern tone.

“Sorry. I just worry about him,” Minho says, letting his head slump down.

“Minho, I’m really happy you’re back,” Chan says with an encouraging smile. “I’m pretty sure he’s happy you’re back too. But as a friend of both of you, please be careful. I know why you did what you did, but you weren’t there to see how bad he got. You didn’t just leave him, you left us too. Me and Changbin and Felix, we had to pick up the pieces. So please be careful.” Minho picks his head back up and grabs his own piece of pizza, taking a massive bite and chewing for as long as he can so he can to buy some time before responding.

“I’m still in love with him,” he finally says. Chan leans over, placing a hand on Minho’s shoulder and giving him a gentle pat.

“I know,” he responds with a grimace.

________________________________________

(4:00) Ji: What time are you available?  
(4:01) Minho: I’m free anytime. I’m still on vacation from work for a while.  
(4:05) Ji: Got it. Meet at 8 then? At the regular spot?  
(4:06) Minho: See you there!

Minho lets out a sigh of relief when he receives the first message from Jisung. He hadn’t wanted to push too hard in case it scared Jisung away, but he was beginning to lose hope that he’d reach out on his own. He’d spent the day apartment hunting and come out with approximately zero contenders, so now Minho has resorted to laying on Chan’s couch, staring at the ceiling and waiting for time to pass. That’s how Chan finds him an hour later when he returns from work.

“Minho, what time are you going out tonight?” he asks, picking up Minho’s legs and moving them so he can sit.

“Jisung wanted to meet at eight,” he says, holding his phone up and staring at the time. Still three hours left.

“Eight, huh. Well, Felix is coming over at seven, so as much as I love you being here…” Chan says, letting Minho fill in the last part of that sentence for himself.

“So I’m being sexiled at seven?” Minho asks. Chan just grins cheekily, patting Minho on the knee. “Great, didn’t think I was moving into a college dorm,” he groans.

“Aw, it’s not so bad. He’s not staying the night, anyways, so anytime past eleven should be fine for you to come back. But yeah, you are kind of being sexiled. Sorry,” Chan replies, getting up and walking into the kitchen. “Did you do all the dishes?” he calls out.

“Yeah. I was bored,” Minho shouts back.

“Now I feel bad for kicking you out,” he says, walking back to the couch with a bag of chips in hand.

“How bad?” Minho asks.

“Not bad enough not to do it.”

Minho still has a few hours to spare, but he’s not doing anything, so he figures he may as well start getting ready. He takes a long shower, spends extra time drying his hair and styling it into something nice, and looks at himself in the mirror. He’s pretty well-rested since he’s been spending so much of his time the past couple days getting in the relaxation he couldn’t while on tour. His hair probably needs a trim, but he doesn’t have time for that now. He deems himself good enough to see an ex he still has feelings for. Good enough for Jisung to take him back? That’s not up to him to decide.

Felix arrives at seven on the dot, just as Minho is about to head out, and he curses himself for lazing around. He had wanted to avoid this interaction; nothing against Felix, he’s one of the sweetest people Minho knows. He’s also Jisungs best friend in the world, and Minho isn’t sure how that’s going to transfer over to him. Before he left, Felix and Chan weren’t dating; this is a pretty new relationship from what Minho could gather. Apparently all that time spent together trying to pick up all of the little pieces of Jisung’s shattered heart had made them closer. Minho would be shocked if Felix didn’t hate him.

But when he walks through the door, he smiles at Minho and goes in for a hug of all things. Minho stands frozen, shocked for a moment, until he regains consciousness and wraps his arms around Felix in return, digging his face into his the mans neck.

“I’m really glad you’re back,” Felix says, sniffling a little bit, because oh yeah, Felix was one of Minho’s best friends in the world too. Even though he’d be loyal to Jisung forever, they’d spent three years hanging out close to every weekend, spent numerous nights at the bar together, spent every exam season in Jisung and Felix’s senior year of college together trying to talk Jisung down from his quarterly freak-outs.

“I’m glad I’m back too. I’m glad you don’t hate me,” Minho says, trying not to get too emotional. “I was worried you’d want me to get lost for good.”

“Of course not. Nobody wants that. Especially Sungie, trust me,” Felix says. Minho picks his head up, leaning back to take a better look at his friend. Felix’s eyes look hopeful, and his smile is genuine, and if he has the endorsement of Jisung’s best friend he wonders if he might actually have hope.

“I’m gonna try to get him back,” Minho says, suddenly filled with resolve. Felix doesn’t react, just gives him another quick hug before letting go.

“Good luck,” he whispers into Minho’s ear before pulling away. Chan walks into the room shortly after, pulling Felix out of Minho’s arms and into his own and cradling him from behind. Felix giggles as a little peck is pressed to his cheek.

“Alright, that’s my cue to leave,” Minho says, offering a salute and stepping through the door. He still has an hour to kill, and there’s a pleasant breeze cutting through the evening, so he decides to take the typically thirty minute walk to the bar and get there early. He’s missed walking through his city in the past year, and Minho takes a leisurely pace as he sees familiar businesses and shops. He decides to take the long route through a park he and Jisung used to frequent, and lets the memories come flooding back. He remembers having picnics with Jisung in the summer, watching as Jisung would spring up when he heard the ice cream cart coming and buy them each their favorite cones. He remembers holding his hand in the winter, staring up at the trees covered in twinkle lights and laughing as their breath came out in white clouds from the cold. Jisung was always the light in his life, always brought him that warm and happy feeling in his stomach that kept him afloat in bad times. He wants it back.

Minho makes it to the bar on auto-pilot, arriving fifteen minutes before he needs to meet Jisung. The bar is twice as busy tonight as it was when they’d met on Wednesday, so he keeps an eye out for a pair of seats to open up, sprinting over when a couple leaves and putting his jacket on the vacant barstool. He motions to the bartender for his usual whiskey sour, opening a tab and taking a small sip when it arrives. He might need a little liquid courage for this night.

Jisung has never been one to arrive early; he always arrives right on time, rushing in like he’s on fire, a tornado knocking down everything in its path to avoid being late. Minho has always told him that if he just left five minutes earlier he could arrive on time without the stress and the slick coat of sweat on his face, but he said he valued the extra five minutes relaxing at home more than five minutes relaxing in a strange place. Minho has no reason to assume things would be different tonight, so when he feels a tap on his shoulder just as he’s holding his glass up to his lips for a second sip he’s shocked.

“Woah, Jisung! You’re early,” Minho says, putting his glass down so he can remove his jacket from the stool.

“I- yeah, I guess so. I gave myself some extra time,” he responds, sitting down and motioning to the bartender. “I guess it’s good, because so are you.”

“Yeah, I walked. I was excited to get here, honestly,” Minho says. “To see you.”

“Please don’t do that. If we’re gonna talk, or be on speaking terms, I need it to be as friends first. I thought a lot about it. I need to learn to trust you again, and I think the only way to do that is to be friends,” Jisung says.

“I can do friends. We’ve never really been friends before, it could be fun,” Minho says, internally sighing in relief. At least he’s not being cut off. “But out of curiosity, are you seeing anyone?”

“Yeah, I am,” Jisung says, thanking the bartender for his drink and handing over his credit card. Minho feels his heart sink, and he tries to shove the feeling down with a big swig of his drink.

“Congratulations. Are you happy?” Minho asks, trying his best to sound positive even though he himself can tell he’s failing. Jisung looks away, focusing on one of the many rings staining the ancient bartop.

“Yeah, he’s a good guy,” he finally says. “Anyway, how was your day? What have you been doing since you got back?”

“It was kind of terrible, honestly. I was apartment hunting all day and didn’t find shit,” Minho says. Jisung picks his head up at that, finally looking at Minho’s face. Small talk seems to be the key here. Minho keeps going, talking about the terrible place with roaches, the amazing place that his realtor didn’t tell him was $200 over budget until he’d already fallen in love, the place that seemed perfect until a train went by and he just about burst an eardrum. Jisung asks questions, provides insight, laughs at jokes, cracks his own. They finally find a comfortable rhythm, something easy enough that it almost overshadows their shared heartbreak.

Jisung speaks on the work he’s been doing with Chan and Changbin, looking more excited about his job than Minho has ever seen him.

“This is supposed to be a secret, but I’ll tell you who we’re producing for if you promise to keep it quiet, ok?” Jisung says, a scandalous look on his face.

“Pinky promise,” Minho says with a smile, holding his little finger out. Jisung laughs and links his with it, shaking three times before letting go. It’s the first time Minho has touched him in a year. He has to look away and blinks a little bit to prevent himself from tearing up. Then Jisung leans into his ear, holding his hand in front to protect anyone from reading his lips, whispering the name of some artist Minho thinks he’s heard on the radio before. Jisung still smells like vanilla and sandalwood, and his breath is warm on Minho’s skin, and he feels the space behind his eyes burn. Minho quickly presses the heels of his hands to his face, wiping away any tears that might be threatening to come out, and looks up into the light.

“Are you okay?” Jisung asks nervously, eyes full of concern. Minho takes a breath to stabilize his voice before he speaks.

“Oh I’m fine, just my contacts. I’m overdue to switch them but I haven’t had the chance to go to the eye doctor yet,” Minho lies, sending Jisung his most convincing smile. He clearly doesn’t buy it, and Minho isn’t quite sure why he thought he would. It’s Jisung.

“Ok,” Jisung says, tactful enough not to press the matter. Minho is pretty sure he’s caught on regardless. “Well you should really do that soon. You can get an infection if you wear one pair too long.”

“Appointment is set for tomorrow, sir. Since when are you the one on top of scheduling?” Minho asks, genuinely smiling this time.

“Hey, a lot has changed in a year. I had to grow up a bit. You’ll be happy to know my laundry skills have improved by 100 fold,” Jisung says proudly.

“There was a pretty low bar to start with,” Minho mutters under his breath, which earns him a smack on the shoulder.

“Shut up. I can cook now, too. Pasta with any type of sauce you’d like, as long as I can buy it in a jar,” he says.

“Ok, I’m impressed. Did your new boyfriend teach you that?” Minho jokes. He means it lightheartedly, more to get used to the words in his mouth than anything else, but Jisung goes quiet for a moment before recovering.

“He did,” he says.

“Is it ok if I ask- Do I know him?” Minho questions. He’s not sure if this is all that phenomenal a question, but he’d rather rip the bandaid off than dwell on it. Jisung looks at him for a while, boring into Minho’s soul with surprising intensity for someone who looks so innocent. Minho can feel himself start to squirm in his seat, so he reaches for a drink, taking a big sip.

“Yeah. It’s Felix,” Jisung says, and Minho nearly spits it all out onto the bar. He coughs for a minute, taking a smaller sip to wash everything down.

“First of all,” Minho says, reaching for a napkin to dry his mouth off. “Fuck you for waiting until I took a sip. That was evil. Second of all, Felix? Lee Felix?” Jisung looks at him with his brows furrowed in anger.

“Yes, Lee Felix. What’s wrong? You don’t like Felix now?” Jisung asks incriminatingly.

“No, no, you know I love Felix. I always have, he’s amazing,” Minho says, trying to keep his face neutral. Jisung is caught in a hell of a lie right now, and he’s interested to see where it will go. He’s also interested in if this means that Jisung is actually single, or he just doesn’t want to give his boyfriends identity away.

“Yeah, I know, me too. So what then? You think he’s too good for me?” Jisung questions some more.

“That’s not it at all, I was just surprised. You two have known each other since like, middle school? That’s a big shift. How did you get together?” Minho asks.

“Well, it was a few months after you left,” Jisung starts, and Minho nods along. “I was really sad. A wreck, actually. He was there for me. One night we were drinking wine and watching movies, and we ended up cuddling. Then cuddling turned into kissing. Then kissing turned into messing around. We ended up sleeping together, and things grew from there.” Minho keeps nodding along. The story is actually pretty believable, he’s kind of impressed.

“Well, is he a good boyfriend to you? Ever cheat or anything?” Minho asks, putting his hand on his chin as he speaks.

“No, he doesn’t cheat. Why would you ask something like that? This is Felix we’re talking about,” Jisung says, sounding offended. He probably is genuinely offended, because even though they aren’t actually together, Minho is talking down on his best friend.

“Well, it’s just. You know I told you I’m staying with Chan right now,” Minho says, looking for Jisung’s reaction. He sees the moment Jisung’s face starts to shift in realization. “I saw Felix earlier, and he didn’t mention anything. He actually seemed pretty cozy with Chan,” Minho says, grinning ear to ear.

“Shut up,” Jisung says, face turning red.

“I think you should be careful, Ji. I watched them kiss right in front of me. They weren’t even ashamed! I don’t think he has much respect for your relationship,” Minho finishes.

“Shut up, Minho! Fine!” Jisung says, covering his red face and laughing, then taking a drink. “They’ve been dating for like two months, but I keep forgetting. Damn it.” Minho stops trying to hold back his laughter, and they sit there sounding akin to hyenas for a moment, ignoring the looks they’re getting from other patrons.

“Why would you even lie about that?” Minho asks when they finally calm down. Jisung turns and meets his gaze, smile falling just a bit.

“I don’t know, honestly. I just thought it might be easier to be friends if you thought I was off the table entirely,” he says a little sadly. “Besides, it wasn’t a complete lie.”

“What part was true, then?” Minho asks. Jisung keeps on looking at him, and Minho can tell he’s trying to pull the same move from earlier and make him spit out his drink again. He’s more prepared this time, so he moves his drink up to take the smallest sip in the world.

“Everything up until what happened after sleeping together,” Jisung says. It’s a good thing Minho took a small sip, because this time everything he has in his mouth genuinely goes flying, spurting into a little whiskey flavored mist in front of him.

“Seriously? You slept together?” Minho asks. He doesn’t have the right to be upset about Jisung sleeping with someone else when he left him in the way that he did, but he can’t stop the feeling in his gut.

“Yeah. I don’t know, I trust him. He offered to help me feel better. Plus, it’s not all that weird, you know we messed around in highschool sometimes.”

“I forgot about that, honestly. So, do you mind if I ask… did it happen more than once?” Minho asks cautiously.

“No, the first time didn’t go very well. Kind of ruined it,” Jisung says, taking a big sip of his whiskey sour.

“Why?” Minho asks. Jisung trains his eyes downwards, avoiding Minho’s gaze. “I mean, sorry. That’s private. You don’t have to answer.”

“No, it’s ok. It just kind of ruined the vibe when I said your name instead of his,” Jisung says pointedly, still looking down.

“Oh.”

“And started crying,” Jisung adds, finally looking back at Minho. Their happy atmosphere has been taken over by something else, and Jisung looks so sad Minho can barely stand it.

“Yeah, I can see why that didn’t work out,” he says, trying to sound casual for both their sakes. “Did you ever try again? With anyone else?”

“No, not really. I figured that meant I wasn’t quite ready. What about you? Any exciting romance on tour?” Jisung asks, seeming to have recovered a bit.

“Oh, not really. One of the other dancers and I went out drinking one night and ended up making out in the bar. I stopped it there. It… It didn’t feel right.” Minho says. He remembers that night pretty clearly, arms linked around the neck of someone a few inches taller, plush lips against his own, a cute laugh that remained even in the face of rejection. It was all wrong.

“Oh. I bet it was Hyunjin.” Jisung says matter-of-factly.

“What the hell? How did you know that?” Minho asks incredulously.

“I never liked that guy. He always looked like he wanted something from you. And he’s the only one in your company who can stand up to you in looks, so… Birds of a feather, right?” Jisung says, motioning to the bartender for another drink. “Do you want another?” he asks. Minho nods dumbly. “Anyway, he’s not your type. I’m not surprised it didn’t work.”

“What? That’s not fair, you say that like you know everything about me,” Minho complains. “It’s been a year, I could have changed too.”

“I know your type, Min, I dated you for three years,” Jisung says smugly.

“Well I know your type, too. I bet I can find someone in this bar that suits you,” Minho responds, scanning the room for anyone who might fit the bill.

“Deal. If I find someone that absolutely blows you away, which I will, you have to go talk to them. Same for me,” Jisung challenges. Minho holds his hand out for a shake, and their deal is on. It catches up to him a moment later what they’ve just agreed to; Minho has basically just offered to find Jisung a boyfriend other than himself. All because they got caught up in a dumb competition. There are a few people that fit the bill off the bat, but Minho has quickly realized he doesn’t actually want Jisung to hit it off with anyone. _I’m not leading the man I’m in love with straight into someone else’s arms._

“What about that guy?” Minho says, gesturing towards a table across the room. The man in question is at least a decade older than Jisung, as are all his friends. They look like the corporate type, a group of office buddies who get off work and need to have a few drinks before returning to their boring home lives with their nagging partners. Minho at least has the decency to gesture towards the most handsome of them all.

“What? That guy could be my uncle, Min,” Jisung says, scowling at the suggestion.

“That doesn’t mean anything, uncles can be any age. My friend has an uncle who’s younger than her. It just depends on the family,” Minho says. “Plus, you don’t mind age gaps. I’m older than you.”

“You’re older than me by two years, not ten. He’s got a ring on his finger!” Jisung exclaims. Damn. He hadn’t noticed that.

“Fine, well, who do you see?” Minho asks. Jisung points across the room to a guy playing pool. Not bad, actually. He’s about the same height as Minho himself, and he’s got a cute skater boy thing going on. He smiles and his eyes crinkle up at the corners, which is pretty charming.

“Honestly, he’s pretty cute,” Minho says, just as the guy walks behind his pool opponent, a girl around his age, and wraps his arms around her, giving her a sloppy kiss on the cheek. She laughs and turns to kiss him on the lips.

“Fuck!” Jisung says a little too loudly.

“Whoah, Ji, are you okay?” Minho asks, holding a hand up to Jisung’s forehead. “You don’t have a fever, but your gaydar isn’t working.” Jisung laughs and swats his hand away, taking a sip of his drink in defeat.

“Listen, I know what I felt,” he says under his breath. “That guy may be dating a girl right now, but he has definitely had a dick in his mouth.” Minho bursts out laughing, and Jisung smiles at the sight. “Ok, find me someone within the same generation as me now.” Minho looks around, eyes landing on one man in particular. He’s gorgeous, tall, has a contagious smile. He’d probably be perfect for Jisung. He keeps looking.

Another guy catches his eye. Someone tall, but not too tall. He has smiling eyes and a cute energy about him, laughing with his friend and sipping on a beer slowly. Minho taps Jisung on the shoulder and points as discreetly as he can.

“That guy? Oh, shit!” Jisung says, face changing to one of surprise.

“What? What’s wrong with him?” Minho asks. He really had seemed like a safe bet.

“You don’t recognize him? That’s Seungmin!” Jisung says, smiling excitedly.

“Seungmin… Seungmin?” Minho asks. He knows that name, and now that he looks closer, he knows his face too. But where from?

“He was my roommate sophomore year. When we started dating. He’s the reason we never hung out in my dorm, he never stopped studying,” Jisung says. “Seungmin!” He shouts across the room, waving his hands around like a madman. The man looks up in confusion, then recognition as he pulls his friend across the room.

“Jisung!” Seungmin says, walking over quickly as Jisung stands up and pulls him into a hug. “Oh wow, and Minho right? It’s crazy seeing you guys here!”

“This is our regular spot. What brings you here? Didn’t you go abroad to work?” Jisung asks. “Oh, sorry, I’m Jisung, and this is Minho,” Jisung says, turning to address Seungmin’s friend.

“I was overseas, but I just moved back to town. This is my friend Jeongin. Jeongin, Jisung and I used to be roommates sophomore year of college.” Seungmin says. “And this is his boyfriend Minho.” Jisung falters for a moment, but ultimately doesn’t say anything.

“Oh, the nightmare roommate?” Jeongin asks, a hint of mischief in his eye. Minho bursts out laughing, Seungmin looks horrified, and Jisung scowls.

“Seungmin, what lies are you feeding him? Nightmare roommate my ass, I was barely even there,” Jisung pouts.

“You were barely there, but every time you came in you left the room looking like a tornado,” Seungmin laughs, patting Jisung on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, you were a good roommate,” he says comfortingly, and Jisung perks up. Jisung brings up some story about Seungmin taking care of him after a party, which leaves the ex-roommates in stitches and Jeongin looking a little lost. Minho remembers the night vaguely as one where he’d woken up passed out on someone’s porch swing.

“Well let me get your number, we should catch up,” Jisung says, holding out his phone. Seungmin plugs in his information and hands it back.

“Wow, this is really crazy. And you guys are still together four years later, huh?” Seungmin says, looking over at Minho. “I’m not actually that surprised. If there was one couple that was going to make it, my money was on you.”

“Ah, actually-” Minho starts to say, but he’s cut off by Jisung.

“It’s a little complicated right now. We’re not exactly together, but we’re figuring it out,” Jisung says. That’s a new development.

“You look like you’re together,” Jeongin chimes in. “At least, physically, you’re both here together.”

“Sadly there’s a bit more to it than that,” Minho says, smiling at Jeongin. Seungmin puts an arm around his shoulder.

“Alright, on that note, I think we’ll leave you to it. He’s got an early morning tomorrow. Sorry to leave so soon! Jisung, make sure to text me!” Seungmin says, starting to pull Jeongin away but pausing briefly. “I hope you figure out whatever’s going on. I really do have faith in you two,” he says with a smile.

“Ok,” Jisung says when they’re left alone. Minho doesn’t know what to do now, with such a strong sentiment looming over their heads, but Jisung seems like he does. He clears his throat and points across the room. “That didn’t count. Find me a new guy.” He seems upset, like he’s trying to distract from whatever’s going on in his head with this game. Minho isn’t going to deny him of that.

“That guy,” Minho says, finally pointing towards the near-perfect man he’d seen earlier. If he’s going to earn Jisung’s trust, he’s got to do what’s best for him. Right now the closest thing he can think of is at least pointing out the best this bar has to offer. He’s laughing with a group of friends now, and Minho can almost hear it across the room. Jisung is looking at him with intrigue, which is miles above what he’d gotten so far.

“Maybe you do know my type. He’s hot, I’ll give you that,” Jisung says, still staring.

“He looks friendly, too,” Minho says. He’s doing his best to be encouraging despite just how little he wants for this to happen.

“Fine. I’ll go talk to him,” Jisung announces, hopping off his stool and grabbing his drink. Minho wants so badly to grab his wrist and pull him back, but their relationship is fragile right now and he knows that would cross a line. So he watches the man he’s in love with make his way across a crowded bar to flirt with someone else. He sees Jisung approach him, and the man smile when Jisung speaks. He sees the back of Jisung’s head bob up and down as he nods at whatever the guy says. Jisung has to crane his neck to make eye contact, and Minho watches as the man’s face turns from one of excitement to one of understanding as he shakes his head up and down. Jisung turns around so they’re both facing the bar, touching the other man’s muscular arm and gesturing towards Minho. He must be explaining the bet.

But then the man leans down and whispers something into Jisung’s ear, placing a hand on his shoulder while doing so, and Minho feels anger boil up inside him. When the man pulls away, he’s smiling, and Jisung looks like he’s on the verge of tears but he still smiles back. The taller man ruffles his hair a little bit, and Jisung walks back Minho’s way, head down.

“What happened,” Minho says, standing up with clenched fists as Jisung comes back. He wraps an arm around Jisung protectively. “Do I need to beat that guy up? Why are you about to cry?”

“No, Minho, he was nice,” Jisung says, laughing wetly. “His name is Lucas. He’s sweet. It’s just never going to work between us,” he says.

“Why? Does he not see what he’s missing?” Minho says defensively.

“It’s not like that,” Jisung says, looking up into Minho’s eyes. “He’s nice. He seemed interested at first. But then I told him about the bet, and we turned and saw you, and he said he didn’t want to compete with that.”

“What?” Minho asks. He’s lost.

“It’s not going to work out because he isn’t you, ok?” Jisung says, sniffling. “I can’t find someone else when I’m still in love with you,” he finished, pulling out of Minho’s hold and sitting back down, Minho following suit. “I’m ready for your explanation,” he says. Minho looks to his boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, eyes full of resolve and jaw set with determination. He reaches to hold Jisung’s hand, testing the waters, and he doesn’t pull away.

“Are you sure you want to do this here?” Minho asks.

“This is our place. We’ve had countless serious talks here. That bartender was here when I threw a drink on you,” Jisung says, motioning behind him. “He was also kind enough not to kick us out when we were making out on the pool table. I want to do it here.” Minho smiles a little at those memories, recalling the drunken argument they’d had over some tv show, and the drunken celebration they’d had when Jisung finally graduated with his music degree.

“You’re right. Alright,” Minho says, taking a deep breath to prepare himself. He hadn’t prepared a speech or anything. Maybe he should have. “Honestly, the reason I left so suddenly is because I thought it would be better for you,” Minho says, trying to squeeze Jisung’s hand a little tighter but failing when he pulls it away. “I just… you were just starting to be successful with work. You were busy, and I was going to be travelling constantly. I didn’t want you worrying about me or putting anything on hold.”

“That doesn’t make any sense, Minho. What would I have been putting on hold?” Jisung asks.

“I don’t know. We were in completely different time zones, and I know you. You would have sacrificed your sleep just to talk on the phone. You would have held yourself back from making connections for me when I was thousands of miles away. I didn’t want you to be distracted from your work because you were wasting time worrying over me,” Minho says. Jisung takes a big gulp of his drink, frowning.

“That’s so stupid. You didn’t even ask my opinion, you just thought it was better to decide it on your own? Relationship decisions usually involve all parties,” Jisung retorts.

“I know, but I wanted what was best for you. I wanted you to be able to fully concentrate on what was going on with your career and gain success and grow. And you did! You look amazing. Your career is thriving,” Minho tries to reason. There’s one more big reason for why he left in the way that he did, but he’s not sure he’s brave enough to say it. He hadn’t been a year ago, either.

“But all that shit you didn’t want to happen still did. I still worried about you all the time. I still lost sleep. We’d shared the same bed for two years, and suddenly I was the only one in it. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat. Felix had to come stay with me for a while. And you blocked my number, I had to hear about your wellbeing from Chan,” Jisung says, grabbing a napkin and holding it up to his eyes, wiping away the tears before they could fall. “You literally made me watch you leave without a word.”

“That’s not what was supposed to happen. You weren’t supposed to be there when I left, I’m so sorry. I fucked up, Jisung. I know that. Would I do it again now? Absolutely not. It was so painful,” Minho says. “I hated it too. I missed you so much.”

“How do you leave behind someone you love like that? Or maybe you didn’t,” Jisung says.

“No, that wasn’t it. Of course I loved you. I still do, Ji, that was never the issue,” Minho says, trying to reach for Jisung’s hand again. To his surprise, Jisung takes it.

“Me too,” he says, squeezing. “But it hurt so bad, Min. I love you so much, I’ve loved you so much for the past four years. But I don’t know if I can go through that again. And I don’t know if I trust you right now. There are so many better ways we could have handled distance. Even if you said we just needed to put things on pause, as long as I knew you’d come back to me, I would have agreed. I want you to succeed just as much as you did for me. You didn’t even let me get excited about you getting the spot on tour. We should have celebrated. We could have been successful separately while still being together but you just cut me off.”

“What can we do?” Minho asks quietly.

“I don’t know. I want to trust you again, but I need time to get back to that place,” Jisung responds.

“I made you wait a year for me, of course I’ll wait for you. Do whatever you need, I’ll be here,” Minho says. Jisung motions to the bartender, avoiding Minho’s gaze.

“Can we close out please? Han Jisung and Lee Minho?” he says when the bartender comes over. He brings their cards and receipts over promptly.

“What’s going on? Is that the end of the conversation?” Minho asks.

“No, I just don’t want to be surrounded by all these people anymore. Let’s go on a walk, ok?” Jisung says, looking back to Minho, smile full of melancholy. Minho nods, pocketing his belongings and standing up. They walk up the stairs and out of the bar in silence, Minho letting Jisung lead the way. He starts walking towards their park, and Minho catches up to stay by his side.

“We’ve made a lot of good memories in this park,” Jisung says.

“We have. I think about them all the time,” Minho says quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace. “I want to make more, if you’ll let me someday.”

“I want that too,” Jisung responds. He sounds so sad and weak, nothing like the Jisung Minho knows, and it’s heartbreaking to hear.

“Jisung,” Minho says, grabbing Jisung by the hand. “Let’s sit down for a second, ok? I have something else to say.” Jisung nods, and Minho leads him to a bench, sitting Jisung down and kneeling in front of him. “I love you. So much. And the way I left was wrong. And all those reasons I gave you in the bar were true, but that’s not everything,” Minho says seriously.

“What do you mean?” Jisung asks.

“I couldn’t face you. If I had stayed and talked it out with you, I don’t think I’d have gone on my tour. I almost turned around that day and threw the idea out the window. My plan was to leave without telling you, because if I looked into your eyes there’s no way I would have been strong enough to walk away from someone I love so deeply. That’s why I tried to leave when you were at work, and when you came back home early I wouldn’t speak to you,” Minho says, clutching Jisung’s knees. “And I blocked your number because if I had the option to call you, I’d take it every single time, and it would mess up your schedule. And if you called me, I’d have come running home. And I needed to do the tour, I’d be blacklisted if I rejected an opportunity like that. So I was weak, and I dropped everything and left. I’m so sorry.”

Jisung runs his thumbs across Minho’s cheeks, brushing away tears Minho didn’t know were there.

“Ok,” Jisung says.

“Ok what? What does that mean?” Minho questions in confusion.

“Ok, I get it. I understand why you did it, and I forgive you. You still don’t have my trust yet, but I get it.”

“Seriously? You forgive me?” Minho asks, looking into Jisung’s eyes. He’s smiling softly, eyes a little watery and emotional.

“I do. I don’t want to find someone else. I want you. So as long as we start slowly, I want to work this out,” Jisung says.

“Thank you so much, Ji. I don’t deserve you. I love you so much,” Minho manages to get out before breaking down.

“Maybe not, but we’ll work on that too,” Jisung laughs. “You still don’t have an apartment, right?” he asks.

“Not yet, I’m supposed to see some more tomorrow,” Minho responds.

“Cancel the appointment. Come home. Stay in the spare room. We’ve been apart for a year, if we’re going to figure this out, I don’t want to be apart anymore.” Jisung says, giggling a little when Minho’s face morphs into one of shock.

“Are you really willing to move that quickly?” Minho asks.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself. You’re not moving into my room, and you’re not moving in as my boyfriend. You’re moving in so we can be close and build our trust back up. I’ve changed in a year, and I can tell you have too. I need to learn who you are again,” Jisung says, threading his fingers through Minho’s hair.

“Understood. I’ll be the most respectful roommate you could ask for,” Minho says, smiling and standing up, then pulling Jisung up with him. “I’m looking forward to your laundry skills, as well.”

“Don’t make fun of my laundry skills or I’ll make all your white clothes pink on purpose,” Jisung says, leading Minho out of the park hand in hand.

* * *

When Minho moves his stuff back into the apartment two days later, everything feels surreal. It’s his home, but different. The couple photos of him and Jisung have been stored away. His shoes aren’t by the door, his jackets aren’t in the closet. The bedroom he and Jisung used to share is only full of Jisung’s things.

“This is weird, Ji. It’s like I never lived here,” Minho says, dropping his bags to sit on the sofa.

“That’s not true. This apartment is full of you. You picked out this couch. The dishes are yours from your college apartment. I still had all your blankets and stuff, so they’re in your room,” Jisung says, taking a seat next to him. “I still have all our pictures. I’ll put them out later on, ok? We’re taking things step by step. Like when we first started.”

“Do you remember how we first started?” Minho asks, turning to Jisung and smiling.

“Of course. We met at a party. You asked me to dance,” Jisung says. Minho pulls his phone out and stands up, putting on the song they’d danced to so many times in their relationship. _I got a feeling that we got a chemistry, gimme what’s on your mind_.

“Will you dance with me?” Minho asks, holding a hand out to Jisung. He smiles, grabbing it and pulling himself up, laughing when Minho yanks him in and wraps an arm around his waist. They dance along for a while, and Minho can feel his heart soaring. “Then what happened?”

“We danced for a while to this song,” Jisung whispers. “You told me I was the prettiest person you’d ever seen. Then you asked if you could kiss me.”

“And then what?” Minho asks.

“I said yes,” Jisung responds quietly, pressing a little closer into Minho.

“I love you, Ji. Can I kiss you?” he asks.

“Yes,” Jisung whispers, leaning in and connecting their lips. Jisung tastes a little different, maybe a new brand of toothpaste or chapstick. It’s subtle, but it’s there, and it makes the fact that Minho hasn’t done this for a year sink in and gnaw at his stomach. The kiss lasts for just a few seconds, and all the memories come swirling back to Minho; Meeting at that college party and kissing a sophomore Jisung when he was a senior, asking him out a few days later, making things official after a month. Moving in together after a year so they could still see each other even after Minho graduated. Celebrating when Jisung followed suit as they both stepped into the world of adulthood together. The year of bliss they had as a couple until Minho went and fucked everything up. He has to pull away, a sob escaping his throat. Jisung holds him close, running a hand through his hair and hushing his cries. “It’s ok, Minho. I love you too.”

“I’m so sorry,” Minho says for what feels like the hundredth time.

“I forgive you,” Jisung says, spinning them around as the song shifts into something new.

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think? Did you cry like I did, or am I just dramatic? It was actually based off the scene in Gossip Girl where Chuck and Blair try to find dates for a party and bring each others dopplegangers, but the original concept kind of got whittled out. The spirit is there though.


End file.
